A letter from Director Barb Briggs

Finding Normal is an honest and intimate look into the long-term recovery process and the inevitable transformation of mind, body and spirit that those recovering from Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI), experience. The goal is to open channels of communication between caregivers and those recovering from a TBI, as well as provide insight into the complexity of change that happens to someone that experiences an injury that isn’t always visible.

On November 16, 2015 at 11:46am, everything changed for Margo Nelson. She on was on her way to pick up her partner Jen at the dentist and was about to make a left-hand turn, when a truck sped through the intersection, broadsiding her car and sending her spinning into another truck.

“The force of the impact pulled the upper half of my body into the passenger seat while my seat belt kept my lower half on the driver side. I was pulled so far over to the right that my face actually hit the air bag on the passenger side. I just remember time and space not existing anymore. I was floating through the air, weightless, and everything was moving in slow motion. What I’m sure was a few seconds to onlookers, inside my car that spin felt like an eternity. When my car finally stopped moving, I remember a high pitched ringing in my ears and trying to push my right eye back into my socket (it wasn’t actually out – just felt like it). I stayed in the car until the paramedics showed up, but I didn’t understand what people were saying. Everything was spinning.” (Margo Nelson)

Margo was taken to the hospital where they conducted x-rays and a series of neurological tests. After just six hours, the doctor gave Jen a pamphlet on brain injury, and sent them home. Over the next few weeks, Margo experienced a number of symptoms including dizziness, nausea, fatigue, blurred vision, memory loss, confusion, an inability to properly form words, loss of smell and taste, anxiety, tinnitus, anxiety and panic attacks, to name but a few. It was eventually determined that she suffered significant soft tissue damage and that she sustained a traumatic brain injury.

Margo didn’t know much about TBI – basically an injury to the brain caused by an external force, “possibly leading to permanent or temporary cognitive, physical, and psycho-social function, with an associated diminished or altered state of consciousness.” She thought she would heal and everything would go back to normal.

Since the brain defines who we are, a brain injury can affect bodily functioning as well as personality and mental abilities. Recovery involves not only healing the physical symptoms, but also coming to terms with the fact that things may not return to ‘normal’ or as they were. Instead, one has to rediscover and redefine what normal means.

“A once outgoing, outspoken extrovert is now painfully introverted and uncomfortable within the confines of her own skin. A once calm, cool, even-tempered attitude has now shifted to that of a short fiery temper, most likely bubbling up from an endless pit of frustration. With no filter and no emotional attachment to words or actions, most days it’s like watching the drama unfold from the inside out, never knowing what will be said or done from one moment to the next. Life became a series of jigsaw puzzles and relentless confusion.” (Margo Nelson)

After the bruises and visible indicators of her accident disappeared, people around Margo expected everything to return as it was before the accident. While she had many supportive people in her life, they didn’t understand what she was going through, nor were they prepared for the changes to her personality. Countless times she was told, “you look fine.” She recalled when she told a cousin that she has a TBI. His response was genuine confusion, “but you’re not drooling or slurring your words…?”

Finding Normal follows Margo on her journey toward her new life. While her accident was nearly three years ago, she is still undergoing regular physical therapy and suffers from long-term cognitive and emotional issues. She struggles with coming to terms with the person she now is, while grieving the loss of the person she was and the life she had. Depression and anxiety are regular visitors. However, throughout this ordeal Margo has been determined to find hope and make the most of her new life with her partner Jen.

I met Margo back in 2013. She was enthusiastic, hardworking, full of energy and always there with a bright smile. Then the accident happened and Margo changed. She looked the same, sounded the same, had most of her memories, but somehow she was different. It was both fascinating and rather scary to realize how much of who we think we are as individuals can be altered so dramatically by a hit on the head. I questioned the beliefs I had been raised with and questioned what I perceived as my true self. I began talking to other people that had traumatic brain injuries and even widened the discussion to people with concussions, people with neurological disorders, brain cancer and other brain related issues. I reflected back on my father, who had a brain tumor for over 25 years, and the changes it had on his personality. Basically, Margo’s story hit home for me. I was surprised by how many people have been affected by brain injuries – by the lasting effects even a seemingly small bump to the head can have. And I was surprised by how little people understood about TBI's. Then, this past October, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), a chronic disease of the central nervous system that leads to neural and muscular impairments. While not a brain injury, many of the symptoms that I have experienced share similarities to the experience of Margo. In short, this journey of discovery with Margo is also a personal journey of understanding and accepting of my own life changes.